Meow Mix Diet?

Posted: October 16, 2012 in Miscellaneous


I was in a mood while at the pet store buying a bag of Meow Mix cat food for my cat. While in the long check-out line, a lady behind me asked if I had a cat. I started to answer her rhetorical question, but then my mood got me. A quick breath to check up, “No, I don’t have a cat,” I answered.

She let me be for five seconds tops before asking if I was cat-sitting. Huh, she really wants conversation this bad? Fine, this will be her lucky day, conversation on!

“Oh-no, I’m going to give the Meow Mix Diet another try”, I explain.

She nods her head up and down, as if I had enlightened her. Ok, you left the door open, fine.

“Well”, I continue with what comes to mind. ” I ended up in the hospital last time, but I lost 50 pounds before, and it is the only diet that has ever worked for me”.

“Fifty POUNDS”, she gasped.

Oh my, I guess I need a bigger net.

“Yes, Meow Mix is the perfect food”, I pile on. “Eat a few, just a few, whenever you feel hungry. It is complete nutritionally and suppresses the appetite. I’m going to try it again”.

That seemed to do it, silence fell upon us as she digested the revelation I seemingly gave her. Or so I thought.

“Wait”, she said quickly as I stepped up to my turn at check-out. “If the cat food put you in the hospital, did it poison you? If if did, why try it again”?

Good grief. If I continue it becomes mean, if it hasn’t already. If I admit my b.s. now, it becomes mean. Decisions, decisions!

“Hospital”, I answer slowly as I was running out b.s… “That wasn’t the Meow Mix. When my wife scratched my neck I wrenched my back lifting my butt so high in the air”.

Receipt in hand, I hoisted the bag of Meow Mix onto my shoulder, winked at her and exited the store.

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Comments
  1. OMG – YOU ARE TOO FRIGGIN FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Carrie says:

    OMG, you’re awesome!!!! That made my day.

  3. Amanda says:

    Thanks for the giggle! Seriously…not sure how some people remember to keep breathing…

  4. Jo says:

    You are so bad!

  5. MizFit says:

    I NEED YOU AS MY NEIGHBOR 🙂

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